Each day is a gift

We’re not very good at celebrating the wonder of our time on earth.

Except when we’re young.

We count down the sleeps to our special day, and, when asked about our age, we proudly reveal the years PLUS the fraction or segment of year since our last birthday. (‘I’m phree and phree quarters’). 

But there’s a time, around mid-life, when we’ve learned it’s best to hide our age. 

To feel shame that our appearance is changing, our fertility is diminished or non-existant, and our vitality is not valued. 

We avoid revealing our age and only celebrate a big ‘0’ milestone because it’s an excuse for a big party…or overseas holiday. 

I’m no stranger to the fascination with ageing. 

My parents were ‘old’ when they had me. 

Dad was 53 and regularly mistaken for my grandfather. 

Mum was 36 and, according to the medical profession, a ‘geriatric mother’. (Seriously, it’s a term that’s only recently been superseded for the more complimentary ‘advanced maternal age’!).  

Only one other friend had a mum the same age, the rest all had ‘younger’ mums. 

I’m so lucky my folks raised me to understand that age is just a number. 

Not a barrier. Nor something to be ashamed of. 

It was something to be celebrated, honoured, and appreciated. 

Never taken for granted. 

Perhaps because I was part of their second chance at life, a product of their second marriages, everything was viewed as an opportunity. 

Each day was a gift. 

There was no assumption that we’d live another day. 

And an acceptance of the realities of life - we discussed wills, planned potential guardians, and worked out practical details should someone die. 

After both lived through cancer treatment and survived a serious head-on car accident, it’s actually not that surprising. 

This photo was taken on my Dad’s 94th birthday. After being told he had only two months to live 18 months earlier, this was a milestone worth celebrating. No party this time. We’d had a special one the year before for his 93rd birthday.

Bless him, he was happy to hang out with us and have his favourite sponge cake covered in sparklers. 

We weren’t to know that he’d pass away 6 days later, peacefully at home.

We never do know, yet we act like we've got time ahead of us. Maybe we do. Maybe not.

But we do have choice, as Dad demonstrated, to age on our terms. 

We don't have to buy into anti-aging products, ignore elders in the community, and overlook the power of our life cycle. 

We can do things differently. 

If your apprehensive about ageing, listen to the 36-min episode of ‘Shine Love & Light On Aging’ with Jack Perez, a passionate advocate for women in mid-life and beyond. It’s a great chat to draw attention to the issues surrounding ageing, shake off any shame and rethink how we approach age in our community. 

So, how do you feel about your age?

What would you do differently if you didn’t have your story about your age? 

Is there someone with wisdom to share with you that you’ve ignored because of their age? 

What can your age help you value in your life?

x Penny

ps. And if you’re still not sure each day is a gift worth celebrating, this inspiring 3-min TEDx talk ‘The Best Gift I Ever Survived’ by Stacey Kramer will confirm it for you.